post-grad blues/thoughts

My life has come to a point right now where I receive constant Facebook invitations to things I really want to go to but they happen in the other side of the world, and that makes me infinitely sad. However, I was able to RSVP to Pride in Uruguay already, which is nice. Oh, the perils of being internationally known...

Right now I am lying on a comfy bed in Port Townsend, WA, at a friend's house. I graduated some 2 and a half weeks ago. I am traveling the west coast before I have to leave for Uruguay. I have 60 days after graduation; the United States apparently thinks a foreigner can find a stable job in two months. Indeed, it is impossible (specially with *my* GPA), so I am kicking it in the coast of Tupac and Kurt and all those beautiful dead people. Next up: Seattle, Portland, OR, and San Francisco. And Miami, but whocaresaboutthat, right?

I fucking wish Dexter was there for real. 

I have not posted in a while, because I was experiencing trauma. Goodbyes have never been easy for me. This was the worst, for some reason. It was everyone at the same time. When I left Uruguay I thought (maybe arrogantly) that everyone would be there when I came back. When I said goodbye to my grandpa for the last time, it was only him. This time, it's my friends, but also my schooling, college, the States, the lifestyle. I was and am heartbroken.

via tumblr

I have been feeling very self-deprecating. I see a bright future for all my friends but not me. I don't know why. I think I need to up my medication? hahalulzno. Maybe. My therapist suggested I have ADD which would explain a lot about my personality/the way I have been functioning the last couple of years. Will that increase my self-confidence? Will it make me more productive? That's all I want to be! Productive.




And Rich.

die antwoord - rich bitch (right click for download)

I have been watching Misfits. Must the British do EVERYTHING better than the Americans? Come on, people! Get it together, and produce a show for teenagers that doesn't insult their intelligence. (In other words, bring Whedon back and let him use cuss words on his shows). I have also watched Smiles of a Summer Night and Ponyo.

I *made* this last one

Watching these movies, I got depressed at how uninspired I am, and much I know I will never create something worthwhile or even... finished or complete. How can some people just come up with these stories? And, If I do come up with one, will I spend my whole life trying to produce it and then when I do, people will laugh, like one of those Z list movies. Will my life's product be a Z list movie? I might as well not try.




HAHA ANGST OK BYE.




<3