You know when you are not with a person
and you think about the universe and god but actually the longest
distance in the world is between your fingers because they're not
touching? And you probably won't touch them again? And you can
daydream about fucking them while you ride the bus home from work,
maybe and how good his dick felt inside of you and the new one just
isn't quite cutting it the smell of nice cologne on his prickly neck
or running into his friends who pretend to not recognize you or involuntarily fantasizing* about running into him while you look like
shit with no make-up on but fuck it! Do you know how easy it is to
get a new dick? Do you know how easy it was?
I pretty much
spent the weekend looking at gifs (did you know they are pronounced
“jifs”??!?!?! blew my fucking mind) and videos today. I saw a
terrible movie I found funny. I thought about boys and girls and the
weather. I read all the articles on VICE and saw all the DOs and
DONTs too.
ugghghaghghghghghghg the synchronized back pattern is killing me (via.) |
I made tiny lists in my head I forgot promptly. I got mad
at my students for now knowing their shit. Now that I am a teacher,
I am NEVER going into class unprepared, or miss class unless I am
actually on fucking fire. It's rude and shitty and ungrateful. I
thought about sexism a bunch and well-meaning dudes and how they
never seem to get it, that horrible dread when you forgot you were a
woman, you thought you were a human being, and then someone
objectifies you, and then you just become a collection of holes with
maybe nice hair. And they take pictures of you and maybe rate you on
a scale from one to ten and you laugh and maybe participate but
really you want to cry with all the rage while slowly choking the
literal shit out of every man that's ever been alive. Except for John
Waters.
Did you know that
John Waters is hitchhiking across America? He's, you know, mature, and
just like, not giving any fucks, and getting rides from strangers.
It is never not okay to post a John Waters gif. Also, read THIS article. Speaking of VICE...
I've been a bad friend. I haven't returned some emails I should have. It's because sometimes I feel like recreating the stigmata with fucking nail scissors because I miss my friends so much, and telling them about my trivial shit seems not real and my face scrunches up but no real tears come out. Nobody wins.
|
Brassaï |
I have a bunch of
posts actually coming up. One is a poem I wrote about not eating
food. Another is a list, because I love lists. Another is another
post about men I'd like to fuck, but that's like a sore subject
today, so let's leave it. Another is a post about how fucking insane
my mother is and how every day I am turning younger vis-à-vis my
relationship with her.
I downloaded 136
songs worth of hip-hop yesterday and spent 6 hours organizing my
music library by genre. I tried to even google every missing album
name (with its accompanying image) but that got old real fast.
I woke up sick
today, bleeding, itching, my forehead is full of water and misspelled
words
I made a circle
around my bed with used tissues and old underwear
I listened to
This Song 32 times in 3 days.
Wishing for
Sleeping Beauty Disorder, just a bit under two months, is it? Today?
Jag äter mat,
jag äter mat fucking inte. Jag äter aldrig? Gotta Practice.
Fake pearl
necklaces and tight shirt collars
Some Things i Became Obsessed With Over The Weekend:
Some Things i Became Obsessed With Over The Weekend:
Iggy Azalea ft. T.I. - Murda Bizness
L$D - Don't Smoke My Blunt Bitch
Confesión Feat Eli Almic & DJRC by Eli Almic.
I went to the best hip-hop show in Uruguay that I have ever been to. This girl, Eli Almic, was MCing. Straight crushin'.
Everything on rookiemag.com (again), specially this photo shoot with fucking with gender. I wish I was still a teenager so I could write for Tavi. |
All of Brassaï's photographs, specially these three. That french dyke couple (1932) is power. (via) And, lastly, white cabbage salads at six in the morning, heavy on the vinegar. |
*is there a word for this? You know, when maybe you lie in bed and you start thinking about the worst possible outcome, the scenario in which you would be the most embarrassed and hurt? Is this something only I do? Involuntarily fantasize? It's like day-nightmaring. Something.
<3's back
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